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Am I Really Depressed? Part 1|| Health & Wellness Series #4

Depression is a heavy but necessary topic to discuss…

It can be such a joy sucking, purpose stealing, and relationship ruining mental health disorder. But unfortunately, depression is a very common reality that an estimated 80% of people (particularly women) will experience at least once in their lifetime.

I have had my own personal struggles with depression and it was definitely difficult to deal with, but I am so grateful to God for all the friends, counselors and pastors he placed in my life to help me through each season.

Sometimes, we may not want to accept a diagnosis of depression but how can we overcome it if we don’t first recognize it?

When I first realized and accepted my diagnosis of depression in 2017, it was during a very difficult season in my life and it actually started to affect my ability to function properly at school and to maintain my responsibilities and relationships in a healthy way.

I couldn’t understand why all the prayer and fasting and Bible reading weren’t working, or why I had lost my zeal and desire for life. Why had God “disappointed me” and why was my life falling apart? My hopeful expectations for life had exploded into a crumbled mess and I was devastated.

I was angry at God, myself and others who had hurt me but I thought, “I’m a supposed to be a good Christian girl, I can’t be angry.” So I tried to bottle it all up and never dealt with it. But little did I know that it would overflow as grief and depression.

Eventually I realized that I needed HELP! I needed professional counselling despite what others might say or think and that began my journey to healing and working through toxic thought patterns and belief systems…

I find that many times in our Caribbean society we may try to ignore our mental health. There’s a certain level of shame attached to mental health disorders, but honestly we need to learn to pay more attention to how and why we are feeling certain emotions and thinking certain thoughts.

We need to learn to get to the root cause of our issues before they take control of our lives!

I once heard this saying on a podcast that changed my life:

“If you are depressed or anxious, you are not weak and you are not crazy—you are just a human being with unmet needs.” –Johann Hari

MY FRIEND, if you are depressed or anxious, it doesn’t make you less of a Christian or a person, it just means you are a human being who has experienced life!

So what is depression?

DEPRESSION is a mental health disorder which may present as a major depressive episode, in Bipolar disorder, as high functioning Depression or it may even be cyclical.

What does Depression look like?

  • Depressed/sad mood including crying often
  • Decreased or lost interest in activities you once enjoyed
  • Eating more than or less than usual
  • Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
  • Feeling tired most of the time
  • Feelings of worthlessness
  • Feeling agitated or restless
  • Decreased ability to concentrate or think
  • Beating yourself up for things in the past or present
  • Thoughts of suicide

If you have 5 or more of these symptoms for at least 2 weeks you would be diagnosed with major depressive disorder.

However, persons with high functioning depression may experience the above symptoms for an extended period of time but less severe and can still push themselves to go about their daily lives. I’ve been there! Please be understanding of these persons because just because they look fine doesn’t mean they are fine.

 

But you may say, “Doc I don’t really have those symptoms” but something to note is that male depression may present differently:

  • Alcohol/drug abuse
  • Working excessively
  • Sexual issues
  • Excessive sleeping
  • Misplaced anger and/ or aggression
  • Attempted suicide (N.B. men are more successful at suicide than women)
For the men in your life, you may need to dig a little deeper to find out why they are acting the way they are and be patient and understanding.

So why do we become depressed? Some causes include:

  • Exhaustion or burn out (may be from work or a toxic relationship or situation)
  • A traumatic experience (life altering events)
  • Faulty belief system (about yourself and the world)
  • Low self-esteem or misconceptions concerning yourself
  • Internal anger (which was a big cause for me)
  • Toxic thought patterns (for e.g ruminating on negative thoughts)
  • Chemical imbalances in the brain

If you feel like you are struggling with depression – especially with the year we’ve been having– IT IS OKAY and understandable. BUT, please don’t ignore it or wallow in it. Make small steps towards your healing and reach out to someone today.

Some more counselling resources include:

Next week we will be talking about the treatment of depression and practical lifestyle changes I’ve done to help me deal with depression.

Yours truly,

Dr. Esther J Trotman

“A happy heart is good medicine and a joyful mind causes healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

References:

  • Holistic Counselling and Psychology Manual Level 1 by Dr. Sylvan Puckerin
  • Medscape

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