Going Through The Motions

A poem about new beginnings, healing and restoration 

 

I opened my heavy eyelids to see such a beautiful sunlight,

But in my heart felt like it was the darkest of days.

Dragging myself out of bed I knew I looked like a dreadful sight,

But this was the least of my cares.

 

Having completed my first obstacle at the bottom of the stairs,

In my heart I feared how many more obstacles I’d have to face.

Plopping myself down at the breakfast table my mouth barely opened to speak my fears.

My body was there but my mind was in another place.

 

I hoped my mouth and mind wouldn’t interface,

I’d be terrified of the sins they would certainly trace.

I can’t seem to stop the thoughts that bombard my mind,

The solution to this predicament I cannot find.

 

I’m becoming too comfortable in this tragedy,

I must breakout and run for my life.

I must not be captured by the enemy,

For I know someone who is the truth, the way and the life.

 

I slowly move my limbs to carry me elsewhere,

For I know in my heart I must try.

Bursting through the door, I fall to my knees in despair,

But instead I find the opposite as I begin to cry.

 

Is this hope, compassion and forgiveness that I’m feeling?

Is this the truth or is this a lie?

Is this exactly the feeling for which I’ve been longing?

To feel and to know that I can have everlasting life and not die.

 

I begin to cry out, “Lord please hear me, I’m in need of your grace and mercy!

Lord please forgive me of all my unrighteousness.

Thank you for accepting me though I’m unworthy,

I choose to live freely in your love and forgiveness.”

 

Now I know I am set free,

I can experience your abundant life.

So this day I decree,

I will no longer be going through the motions of life.

 

By Esther Trotman