How to Reset and Reorganize After Disappointment

Another year has come and gone and here we are at the beginning of a new year with a blank page before us. What do we want the stories of our life to look like this year? Are we just going to go with the flow or are we going to take intentional steps towards growth and fulfillment of purpose?

One thing about me is that I like to plan and organize my life! If not for planners, google calendar, journals and OneNote, I would probably be running around like a chicken with its head cut off (as the old folk would say lol). I have a lot of things on my plate so it’s important for me to organize and establish healthy habits for my life.

But what if things don’t go according to your plan? What do you do when you’re left feeling so off centered, frustrated, and disappointed that things aren’t working out the way you’d like despite your planning and organization?

The truth is, I don’t handle plans falling apart well and anxiety and depression tend to rear their ugly heads. It’s normal and expected to feel disappointment and frustration when your plans don’t materialize. However, it’s at those times we may just need to take a step back, breath in and out, reset and come again. Can anyone relate?

Story Time

I started out the year in Jamaica, for a business and leisure trip. I had few personal and business goals I wanted to accomplish within two weeks but, life had other plans. It felt like I started out the year on the wrong foot, with disappointment after disappointment and too many unfinished tasks in my books. Let’s just say, your girl did not handle it very well at first. It reminded of a time many years ago when it “felt like” God was mashing up all my plans to teach me surrender and trust.

It took me a few days to get out of that dejected, self-pity party but with God’s help and a few practical steps, I started moving forward again towards my goals with a new perspective. I spent some time with God, I journaled about the things I was grateful for and the things that did go right. I acknowledged my disappointment and forgave myself for failing at times and I accepted that there is a time and season for everything, so what I didn’t get accomplished, I would try at again later.

Let’s talk about disappointment

Did you know that disappointment significantly alters the neurochemical makeup of the brain? I.e. the brain chemistry goes “haywire”.

 Neuroscientists have discovered that there is a neuronal (i.e. nerve) “shake up” that occurs just before a disappointment that leads to a decrease in the “feel good hormones” in the brain including, serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. It affects a centre in the brain called the habenula which plays a role in psychological and psychiatric disorders.

Disappointment and frustration can therefore affect our emotional balance and can lead to physical symptoms in the body such as joint and muscle pain, muscle tension and headaches. The gist of these interesting facts is that disappointment HURTS and if we don’t learn to overcome it in healthy ways it can cause health issues.

How to overcome and reset after disappointment

The first step in overcoming most negative emotions is to first acknowledge it and NOT run away from it. Acknowledge that you are disappointed and validate the emotion.

Secondly, get support from others you trust. Share with a good friend, or a therapist, listen to their feedback and encouragement but also, learn to encourage yourself in the Lord!

Find ways to distract yourself and keep busy. Do some activities that you enjoy and try not to live inside your head, ruminating on the negative thoughts.

One thing I’ve learned about disappointment is that many times it comes about from having high expectations of yourself, others, and situations. It can be hard to manage your expectations but it’s important for us to do so. Learn to be more realistic about situations and accept the things outside of your control.

Lastly, accept that disappointment is a part of life and that we all go through it. Allow yourself to go through it, but don’t stay there. Get back up and go again! Learn to see things from a new and more positive perspective as you move forward.

Have you experienced any disappointment recently? How did you reset and overcome it?

We hope you enjoyed part one of this blog! Look out for part two next month where we talk about how to reorganize your life.

Yours truly,

Esther (aka Star)

References:

https://exploringyourmind.com/disappointment-and-your-brain-why-it-hurts/https://www.manhattancbt.com/archives/5070/how-to-deal-with-disappointment/

P.S. Please note there are a few affiliate links in this blog. If you purchase any of these items it would support my small business. God bless you.